My life should be a TV show, oh wait it already is.

Seinfeld? I live it.  The Office? I do it everyday 9-5. And by living the life I do, I find myself in situations that couldn’t be scripted any better.  Most recently it has been a series of unfortunate events that will ultimately end up more unfortunate for the entities that I have conducted business with.   Let’s start with this past Saturday….

I look at my Maui Jim Mahaka sunglasses, which I purchased at Sunglass Hut in Grayson, GA while on travel to visit my family, only to find that there is a weird mark in the core of the lens. These are polycarbonate lenses and this appears to be a crack on one of the interior layers.  If I knew how to do this, I would be called a superhero, but I can’t and therefore I’m just an unhappy consumer (only to get worse up until last night).  So I go to Maui Jim’s website and figure out what I need to do in order to get a new pair sans internal lens crack. Simple, put them in a box with a dated receipt and a check to cover shipping.  I go to look at my receipt and realize that it was hand written except for the receipt number and barcode.  The most important thing is: there was no date.  Shouldn’t be a big deal, Sunglass Hut around the corner should be able to reprint this receipt given the receipt number.  So I call the Sunglass Hut located in the Pentagon City Mall on the food court level just up the escalator and to the right from the Pentagon City Metro Stop.  A not so delightful female sales associate answers the phone and the dialog went like this…

Ms. Attitude: Sunglass Hut, may I help you?

Me: Hi, how are you, I have a couple of questions for you…

Ms. Attitude: We’re very busy so if you don’t mind, call back tomorrow.

Me: Excuse me, I do mind, this is about a $150 sunglass purchase.

Ms. Attitude (after a second to realize that I wasn’t just another call…): Uh, Ok, what can I do for you.

Me: I bought a pair of sunglasses at a store in Georgia and I have noticed that there is a crack on the inside of the lens. I would like a receipt printed for them. Can you do that?

Ms. Attitude: No.

Me: What can I do to get the receipt.

Ms. Attitude: Call the Georgia store.

Me: Will do.
Click.

Being in the generation I’m in, I quickly dash to www.sunglasshut.com to find the customer service contact methods. I found a 1 800 number, I called, it was open M-F 9-5.  Fair enough, I can respect a normal work week. I’ll just send them a quick email letting them know that the manners in the Pentagon City store were not…let’s say…existent.  Here’s the email I sent.

In June, I purchased a pair of Maui Jim Makaha
sunglasses from a store in Atlanta while on travel. I’m now back in my
homestate and the lens cracked near the nose piece. I went to Maui Jim’s
website to see what I need to get them fixed under warranty and they
request a dated receipt as a proof of purchase. My problem is that the
receipt I have was half hand written due to a broken printer, it has no
date on it. I called the Sunglass Hut nearest to my home in Virginia
only to get a shockingly rude response to my inquiry. The sales person
said “I’m very busy, so if you don’t mind, call tomorrow.” I replied
with “I do mind, this is about a $150 sunglass purchase.” She conceded
and curtly answered my questions, proving to be no help whatsoever. She
said that she couldn’t do anything and to contact the store I bought
them at. So I called that Sunglass Hut and they said the only way to get
it to me is by fax. I don’t have a fax machine. What is your advice on
how to get my actual receipt? Please advise as I am extremely
dissatisfied with customer service so far. Mark Armstrong 404 *** ****

Here’s the response I got Monday Morning:

Hello Mark,

If you cannot receive a fax copy of your receipt the Sunglass Hut location can send you a copy by mail as well.

Thank you,
Erica

Sorry SGH, not gonna cut it.  I actually followed the Pentagon City’s advice and called the Georgia store.  This lady said “Sure, no problem, I just printed it.  You can come by and pick it up anytime. “  After explaining that I actually couldn’t swing by and that I’m 650 miles away from that store,  she then said she couldn’t email it but could fax it.  I actually don’t own a fax machine as its 2009.  I asked her to mail it, she said she didn’t get off work until 6 pm for everyday up until next Thursday and the post office would be closed.  At this point, I wasn’t about suggest the use of FEDEX GUY WHO COMES EVERY FREAKIN DAY TO DELIVER SHIPMENTS OF SUNGLASSES, that would have blown her mind.  I conceded and said that I would call Monday from my office that still had a fax machine.

Monday Morning, I stroll into the office and give the store a ring.  I filled in the new associate as to what happened on the phone Saturday…here’s the dialog:

1st year college student home for summer: “Are you Mark Armstrong?”

Me: Uh, Yes. (I though to myself thats creepy.)

Girl: I can’t fax it and mailing would take all week.

Me: What can I do to get it?

Girl: I can email it to you…?

Me: Thats what I wanted all along, that would be great and relevant to this day and age’s technology.

Girl: It will be later tonight, I can’t email from work.

Me: Thats fine, just so long as I get it.

Click.

The day ends.
Tuesday Begins.  I get to work only to find an email from bubblebaby8419@aol.com.  Note: I don’t wish the wrongdoings of email spammers on her, but there is a lesson to be learned from using personal emails for work with an angry and frustrated customer.

Regardless, the receipt is attached, scanned in as a JPEG front and back. Mission accomplished.

I get home from work, find that I have a package.  Awesome, this must be the Xbox 360 I ordered from Dell.  I don’t open it yet.  So I’m folding the 8.5 x 11 receipt along with the 2.5 foot hand written bootleg receipt to go  into a box with the glasses.  My roommate asks what I was up to and what I was doing for dinner.  I inform him what happened with the glasses and he says I should just take the receipt up to the local Sunglass Hut and they will exchange them. I figure its worth a shot and I would like to see what kind of operation was being handled by miss manners.  So we trek up to Pentagon City Mall and find quite the opposite of I what I encountered on the phone.  The lady said that I could “SRD” them.  I asked what that was and she informed me that its a replacement program where I can swap those out with a brand new pair for half the cost of the glasses.  I inform her that I won’t be “SRD”ing anything and that I would like them to just be swapped because the flaw in the glasses couldn’t be anything other than from the manufacturer.  She says that her manager would have to approve it.  I tell her that’s fine.  She called him and he actually approved it.  I was surprised, and after it was said and done, they owed me $1.60 from the difference in sales tax.

All is well with the sunglasses, back in action with my new Maui Jim’s.  Roommate and I decide to go to California Pizza Kitchen.  We arrive to an empty host stand and for about 15 minutes, stood there while another dozen people got in line behind us.  The restaurant was busy, not slammed, but busy.  There were about 10 tables open.  The host returns to the stand and asks us how many.  We say 2, he says 20 minutes.  Baffled at why we couldn’t sit any of the open tables, we take a seat on a bench and wait.  10 minutes later, he asks us if we would like to sit outside.  We said sure in hopes that we might get to eat faster.  We sit outside, our server, who took 15 minutes to realize we were there, finally took our drink orders and brought us bread. 7 or 8 minutes later, he returns with the drinks and takes our order.  The pizza comes out fast, so fast, it beat our drinks to the table.  How about that? So I polish off my first glass of sprite and still have half a pizza left. By now its starting to rain, hard.  We are covered by an awning, although the path for the servers was not.   After I realized that the server wasn’t coming back, I finished my pizza, thirsty.  After about 15 minutes of sitting there, he finally comes back with a bill.  No refill, no checking in on us, no offer for dessert. We tip him appropriately (it my or may not have been a 2.50 tip on a $30 tab) and leave.   Worst service ever, always good pizza.

We went to Cold Stone too, nothing  good or bad happened except I payed $5 for a single scoop of ice cream.

So I’m pulling into my parking garage and find that a Silver Mazda 3 is parked in my reserved spot, which was marked reserved with a number in it and also by numerous signs throughout our complex.  The reason its reserved is that I pay $75 a month for that spot (not a choice, I consider it part of the rent).  I used to be gracious to these folks, maybe they are only going to be a minute, maybe its a Chinese food delivery.  But that ended after the first 15 times.  By now, and my mood as of this point didn’t help, I don’t care why you’re there, but you shouldn’t be because its my freakin spot.  So I call A1 towing and wait, illegally parked in handicapped spot with my emergency flashers on.  He arrives, realizes its a manual transmission, uses a slim jim to pick the lock, opens the door, puts it in neutral and rolls it out of the spot.  He lifts its, I sign and he’s off.  He made it about 80 feet away when I young guy comes running out of the hallway and flags down the truck.  He asks what was happening, the towtruck driver says, comically, “You’re getting towed…for parking in a reserved spot.” “I didn’t know!” “Now you do. The fee is $150 and you can get it at our yard.”  I’m not kidding when I say this, the guy starts crying…hard.  And it worked because between his dad coming out and yelling in Spanish at the driver and the 17 year old bawling in the streets of Alexandria, the driver had enough and only charged him $25 to drop it.  I didn’t care, I just wanted my spot.  But the whole situation was surreal.  Did I really make a kid cry over getting his illegally parked car towed? Yes, Yes I did.  Go figure.

So I go inside, anxious to get to bed because the day was just that good so far but get distracted by new electronics.  I decide to open my new xbox.  Tearing through the packing and smelling all the new electronics, I get to the games that were bundled with the system, and they shipped the wrong ones.  I ordered the Xbox Elite 360 Holiday Bundle with Fable 2 and Halo 3, but I received Kung Fu Panda and Lego Indiana Jones.  Honest mistake, similar boxes, same main product.  So I jump on dell’s website and report a wrong order.  Here’s my response: (My real name is Gary, its on the credit card, hence the greeting…)

Dear Gary Armstrong,

Thank you for contacting Dell online Customer Care.

I understand from your email that, you have received the wrong games with your order 792669776. I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you.

As per the records, I see that your order 792669776 for Xbox 360 Elite Holiday Bundle includes Kung Fu Panda, LEGO Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures games with the order and we have sent you the same so, at it will not be possible for us to arrange the replacement for the order as, replacement are set for like to like items only.

Sincerely,

Mohit Kwatra

Here’s my response:

This is almost correct. When I ordered my elite bundle, there were two options.  One was the Halo 3/Fable II bundle, the other being this one, the Lego Indiana Jones and Kung Fu Panda.  I specified the Halo/Fable bundle. I now see you have taken that deal down; however, when I placed my order, it was still available.  You have clearly sent the wrong bundle.  Considering my demographic, a 26 year old male with a credit card, did you think I would have preferred Kung Fu Panda over Alien Killing Marines? While the line item on my receipts don’t say which bundle it was I realize its my word against yours.  I would hope you choose to satisfy a customer as opposed to losing one.

Good day,

Mark

That story is yet to be resolved.  From what I hear, their senior execs aren’t that hard to find, I’ll do what I can…make that have to…to get the games I actually ordered.

The last story, I’ll keep this one short as this post is getting ridiculously long, is with Microsoft themselves.  With the purchase of a new xbox, I need to transfer the contents of old hard drive to the new one.  Microsoft lets you do this with a free kit.  I called to order the kit and after about 15 frustrating minutes dealing with a robotic female voice recognition touch tone menu, I finally spoke to something with a pulse.  He said he could help me…but not tonight as their “system” was down.  I thought, hmm, customer service got red ringed, ironic.  I said I would call back later this week.

Well I hope you learned something from all this. I learned to never shop at Sunglass Hut, don’t go to a CPK when its sort of busy, don’t buy anything from Dell, and keep pushing zero when on the phone with one of those stupid inanimate systems that can’t tell words apart like Boat and Apple.  Try to understand this one ms. robot phone answering system: Customer Service at Xbox iz teh suxxorz.  And when I do get a hold of a human, put your script down and don’t tell me some made up American name, we know your cheap labor in an undeveloped country.

Dinner with a Presdident

Tonight was bigger than any blog post will able to convey but I’ll write if anything for preservation of my own memory.

Jeramie and I left around 6:15, parked on F street and walked over to the south east gate to the White House.  I showed a secret service agent my driver’s license and he allowed me to pass.  I walked through a tent and put my cell phone and camera in a basket.  They allowed both.  We proceeded up the East side of the Mansion, the Treasury to our right.  There is a big black building that houses the motorcade.  I found it to be very interesting and not so discrete.  I bet its hard when you have 50 vehicles in it though.  We entered through the East entrance, greeted by marines in uniform.  We were allowed into any room.  We started in a room I don’t know the name of, but if you check my facebook album, there is a picture of the roses that were on the table.  It was a library of sorts though.   It also had a mens restroom.  Right across was a sitting room that is primarily used for the First Lady’s tea gatherings.   We made our way upstairs to find a 4 piece marine jazz band playing in the foyeur which is up against the main hall.  Mind you, the architecture in the White House is nothing short of breath taking.  Very ornate, the floors, the hand rails, the moldings, the walls, the wall paper, the painting, the ceiling, the columns, the stately eagles everywhere, the Seal of The President over the Blue Room.  We got a drink, I had ginger ale, although they had beer, wine, and a few cocktails.  We then proceeded to the West side of the mansion to ballroom type of room.  There we enjoyed flank steak, rack of lamb, stuffed shrimp, blackbean salad, and a W shaped cookies.  There were also dessert tables that had a bunch of different hors d euvre type of sweets from cappucino puffs to lemon cake bites.  We wandered around, Jeramie introduced me to people.  I saw Madeline Albright from across the room.  I met Karen Nichols, Kevin Madden, Joshua Bolt (chief of staff), the usher to the President’s family.  I also Mercer Reynolds from across the room.  Then a marine approached us and said that red tickets may get in line.  When we first got there, we were handed a ticket.  It was a set of instructions for the receiving line.  We lined up in the main hall, carefully ushered by the SS Marines.  They allowed us to go back downstairs and get in a line.  We handed in our red ticket and received a green piece of paper that had our names and address on it.  This was our voucher to meet the POTUS (President Of The United States), who is affectionately referred to by most people in the RNC as “The Boss”.  We got in line, entered into a library behind the people in front of us.  When we reached the door to the room that had the POTUS in it, we were stopped by another SS Marine, he verified that we were who the card said we were.  He very explicity said looking at Jeramie “You will stand next the President, and you Mr. Armstrong will stand next the Vice President.”  I couldn’t believe it, both Cheney and Bush!  When we were in that room there was an SS Marine at my right side up until I was introduced to Bush and Cheney standing next to Cheney.  We posed for the picture, I saw a flash and the next thing I know I’m in the Dish Room.  I couldn’t stop smiling, I had just met the two most powerful men in the world, shook their hands and exchanged simple greetings with them.  I don’t remember clearly, but I think I said, “Thanks for what you have done, its an honor to meet you.”  If they responded, I’m sure it was a simple “Nice to meet you” but I don’t really recall.  This may the first time in my life I was literally star struck.  To see the President, stand next to him, shake his hand, and pose with him.  Its still surreal.  We walked back upstairs, mingled some more.  I was taking photos like a tourist would the first time they see the Capitol building.  About a half hour later, an SS Marine approached us and said, “The President will be arriving in the East Room in about 20 minutes.  Proceed there if you wish to hear him speak. “  So we did, we lined up in the makeshift aisle that was created by SS Marines.  We stood there, camera and cell phone camera equipped.  Bush and Cheney walk in.

Cheney introduced the President.  GW stood at the platform, he looked tired.  Not like he didn’t get enough sleep, but there was a look about him, like he couldn’t wait for the next 9 days to go by.  His words echoed his look.  Very witty speech.  He made his remarks: “I’m leaving this position with my head high, and knowing that I made progress.”  He went on to thank the people in the room for making him successful, he was especially thankful for the prayers.  He spent a good 3 minutes talking about how nothing was possible without prayer and that the difference was so noticeable.  He went on to tell stories of how he met with the families of fallen soldiers, he talked about how his administration shaped history and laid a foundation for peace in the future.  He went on to say that he’s enjoyed it and can’t wait to return to the “Promised Land…Texas”.  On his way down from the podium, he shook hands of those in the aisle.  So I got a second handshake that night.  I’m still in disbelief that I got to see him deliver a speech from about 15 feet away.  Amazing.

Jeramie and I walked around some more to meet some of his old colleagues and we eventually made our way back out of the east side basement door.  Upon our exit we were given a red box with a black “W” on the front of it.  Inside is a frame for the official White House Photo that will come in the mail, a book of The 43rd President’s Accomplishments and an invitation to see them off on the 20th from Andrews AFB.

All in all I still can’t believe it all happened.  It was a life goal of mine to meet a President. I accomplished that tonight and met the VP as well.  Words fail me but just know that I haven’t stopped smiling since about 6:30 tonight.

Can a blog get dusty?

I think it can.  This one has for sure if it is possible.  No apologies but I’ll blow the “E-dust” off of it.  Blogging hasn’t been a priority so much as surviving and attempting to make sense of life has been.  So you can imagine that a lot has happened since the last post.  I’m not even sure who’s reading, but to those that may still have this handy, here’s the extract:  Job is good, best friends in DC moved away, confused about where I should be.

I wish there was more variety to that, but when I think about it, I don’t know what else to write about.  I love my job, good group of guys, its fun, interesting, rewarding, and a tiny bit fulfilling.  Not my dream, but it will suffice until I know what’s next… I hope I’m not saying that in 20 years.  Jeramie and Amber moved away and got married.  They were my go to folks for lunch, dinner, and whatever.  Still a little sad and rediscovering how difficult it is to crack groups of friends in DC.  Makes me want to move back to Atlanta…again.  I have other reasons, but I can’t go into those right now.  That touches on my confusion about where I’m supposed to be.  I’m finding success in DC, but I still feel out of place here.  I wonder if Atlanta will fill that void, I have a feeling it won’t but the curiosity is going to drive me insane.  I feel like my military brat instincts are taking over and just making me want to move.  Enough about me.  Let’s talk about the shortened chronicles of my flying experiences.

Delta = failboat

I have flown for 5 consecutive weekends now.  4 out of 5 were with Delta, 4 out of those 4 were delayed.  2 for weather, 1 for mechanical failure, and 1 for no reason given.  Understandable, out of their control, etc etc.  Don’t care.  Customer service failed them every time.  Lying to passengers, treating them like garbage, not telling them anything, are just a few things that come to mind.

In a related story, my flight this morning, which was delayed for no apparent reason, was supposed to leave at 8:30 am which meant I was supposed to be there around 6:30.  No traffic allowed me to be there at 6:15.  I checked my bag, for $15 to cover the increased fuel costs right?  Oh wait, fuel came back down in price… -10 points for Delta again.  Back on track…I get in the security line and there are two guys in front of me, both dressed in jeans, black jackets, and black boots.  One is wearing sunglasses and has a distinguished look about him.  A TSA agent comes up to him and my thought is this guy’s in trouble.  She goes on to tell him that she loves his music and that she loves his new video.  Another lady does this, another man does this.  It happens about 6 times before we get to the agent who checks your boarding pass.  I still don’t have a clue who this man is.  I’m intrigued though.  So being the clever person I am, I’ll just check his ID card as he hands it to the agent.  He pulls out a passport, name is Alan Horne.  I’m stumped.  As soon as he walks away, I ask the agent who that was.  He says, “Thats Robin Thicke baby! You know, I’m lost wit ouchyoo!”  I say, “Oh yeah…” not having a clue what song he was talking about.  I had heard of Robin Thicke though.  I used to like that song “When I Get You Alone” from 2002.  So after we proceed through the metal detectors and gather our things.  I tell RT (as he is affectionately called on the web) as we are putting shoes back on, “I would be lying if I said I was a fan, but I remember your old stuff, and I liked it.  Keep up the good music and safe travels to where ever you are heading.”  He responds, “Thanks for saying that, listen to the new stuff, and become a fan! God Bless.”  Interesting response.  I would have not pegged him to say God Bless first of all.  Second of all he wasn’t above plugging his own music still even after he had achieved this celebrity status.  Third of all, he was a genuinely nice guy.  He was very grateful for all the compliments and very receptive to the attention.  So he actually gained a fan today.  Its good to know that somebody who has that reached that level of success didn’t turn out to be a huge jerk.  I have met some pro athletes and other big band members and have found many to be too cool to talk to fans or converse with them.  I mean just a few words can go a long way with an average person.  Don’t blow it when you have the chance.  I say this as if a celebrity is reading, slim chance, but just in case.  I did however youtube a lot of his music and its all pretty good.  I recommend him for good music and congeniality reasons.

Right now: playlist of touchy feeling songs including ballads from Chicago, Journey, Boston, and other sappy songs.  Its fairly indicative of my mood.  I drove down to Good Stuff to eat a late dinner.  I drove slow and made it a point to pass some of the tourist sites.  The clothes on my bed are mocking me.  Time to put in my new ATHF DVD and do some work on my disaster of a room.

Comments are more than welcome.  I’ll pay 10 theoretical internet dollars for each one.

Another day at the office

I’ve lost the first 10 of hopefully many more pounds in my effort to lose weight. Project “Chin Line” is in full effect. In order to accomplish this, I bought a new bicycle, which I discovered is not all that unlike buying a car. I encountered some real A hole salespeople in my shopping experience. Ended up with a Specialized Rockhopper for those who are interested. I have been riding about 4-8 miles every other day. Surprisingly enjoyable and really convenient due to the Mt. Vernon Trail being right across the street from where I live. Wish me luck.

In other news, my quality of life has improved 100% since I got laid off and moved, and it continues to get better. Making friends has a proportionate relationship of my mood. The happier I am, the easier it is to make friends. Thats tough when you hate your job and where you live and have no friends. Go figure, 2 friends turned into many. I like to look at my “Friend Concentration Map” on facebook. DC is getting darker. That being said, I still don’t care for the area. I hope to move back south as soon as I can. Ideally, all the way to Florida. I spent Sunday by the Chesapeake Bay, and it was the same feel as the beach…except the body builder sporting the hot pink banana hammock…not cool dude. Very ironic since I was there for a church picnic/baptism. Anyway, the ocean speaks to me and I am a fool to not listen to it. I feel like I will “arrive” when I can wake up and see the ocean first thing every day. So that was my sign, even though things are great here, I don’t belong here. Its clear to me that I need to adjust anything I can to be around the water. People say that I should do this sort of thing while I am young and single. I agree with that, but in my own fairy tale world, the single thing would go away and not affect my dreams. There are female pirates too…I know a few. Send any people you know selling boats or beach property dirt cheap my way.

I suppose this implies a career change, which would be welcomed with open arms. The corporate arena is not something I wish to pursue any more. If I stay in DC any longer, my convictions about politics and gov’t spending may manifest…into God knows what. I may become a lobbyist/activist/policy writer…all things that I feel like are better suited for other people. I like people, and I like it when people like me. I don’t want my career to isolate who my friends are, at least to that extent. Not yet anyway. I could see myself at 50 running for an office or something, thats another post though.

I wish I had a funny story to tell you this time around, I don’t though.  I feel like life let me down with that guy in the pink g string though.  That had potential.  Maybe next time.  Cheers!

I’m about to get serious on you

Its Wednesday and for the first time, I have resorted to posting at work. Risky business. Probably the first and the last time, but I feel like I should get some thought on paper(online?…internet has destroyed common phrases) while I am feeling pensive and quasi-philosophical.

So I was on a plane Monday night coming back from Texas after seeing my cousins graduation. I killed three birds with one stone though with that trip. His graduation was important and good to see, I got a break from the norm in DC, and I got to see my family, mom and sister to be specific. The flight was delayed due to the nasty thunderstorms that seem to wreak havoc on the midwest daily recently. I managed to get on an earlier flight standby which was a huge relief and quite significant in retrospect. I was in the second to last row by the window. I shared my two seat row with an old man who clearly hasn’t flown in a few years. He had his bose noise cancelling $500 headphones connected to his 80 gb ipod video, a book (didn’t catch which one, probably something real trendy), and refused to share the armrest. Since this row was a bulkhead seat, my tray table was in the armrest that he hogged. I had to nudge him twice to get it out. Normally I wouldn’t use it, but normally airlines don’t give you the can of soda along the with small cup that can barely hold anything to begin with, but they did qualifying my need of the armrest. So as I pull the tray out and unfold it, I see a huge flash of light outside my window. You would have though a photographer was on the wing taking pictures. I waited a second and sure enough, I was on the topside of a thunderstorm. I saw lightning and thunder from the top. If you have ever seen this, maybe you can relate to what I was seeing. It was truly spectacular, remarkable, and for maybe the 3rd time in my life, I was in complete awe of something completely natural (#1 was the Grand Canyon, #2 was an underwater experience at 70 below the surface(1 and 2 would have been girls, but for the sake of my tone and goal of this post, we’ll stick to Mother Nature…but if you are curious as to what girls, and you are a girl, trust me, you are number 1 *wink* and Carrie Underwood is number 2)). My thoughts were somewhat mixed. How could something so magnificent and beautiful be so relentless and destructive? After a few minutes of it, I realized that is a pretty common thing in life. It all depends on perspective. Below the clouds, you take cover and hope that the storm is over fast. Above it, you are safe and it allows you to witness the beauty and power of Mother Nature. I will let you draw your own inspirational conclusions from that, but for me, its an affirmation of a basic tool of attitude and life skill, perspective.

I don’t endorse flying into thunderstorms intentionally, but if you happen to be on a flight that flies over it, be sure watch out the window.

Airports are hands down the single best place to people watch. Especially in Texas. Lots of midwest flights connect there, that being said, a lady, who looked, acted, and talked just like Roseanne, decided that I would be her conversation while we waited on our plane. She was from Oklahoma, headed to DC for the week. I wish I could have recorded the conversation, but it went something like this.

Her: This weather sure does f*%$ up airports don’t it.

Me: Yeah, probably better though, tornados and airplanes don’t play well together

Her: (Hearty laugh) I reckon you’re about right.

Me: Better late than never, right?

Her: Hell, I’d chance it if I could get there quick, I got a ride waiting on me.

Me: (Thought: Its people like this that warrant agencies like the FAA, because common sense tells you not to fly in horrible weather…) Would be risk…

Her: (interruptingly) My whole life is risky, its my fuel for life.

Me: I gotta go to the bathroom, bye.

Priceless. A gem in the rough that is Oklahoma.
Anyway, hopefully that lightened the post a little bit. Til next time…

Rain Rain Go Away

Well I am trying to go to sleep and the slow drip from my leaking window is keeping me from that.  I went to sleep at 2:00 ish today and woke up to downpours.  I went to Nate’s apt for some leftover steak (delicious by the way) and came back to settle in for the night.  I hear a clicking type of noise and sure enough the window seals are non existent on the right side of the windows.  Hopefully the four towels will be enough to last the night.  I heard on the news we got 4 inches today.  Crazy.

I normally would apologize for the lull in post frequency but I have accepted that once a month is acceptable and you are probably not expecting much more than that any more. 

My small group wrapped up and I finally feel like I have some friends, more importantly, I found a couple of lifelong best friend type of people too.  It is so much easier to get by when have those readily available.  I also got a nice apt.  You should come visit.

The last week or so of my free time has been consumed by GTA IV.  I won’t bore you with the details of the game, but you should check what set entertainment records.  $400 million in its first week…eat it Titanic.  In other news I finally caved and bought my first apple product which will likely lead to another one.  I bought an iPod touch.  Its sexy, easy to use, and remarkably handy.  I am not your normal pretensious apple user though as I don’t flaunt it and put stickers on my car or briefcase.  I want a laptop to surf around on the couch and what not.  I want a solid state disk drve too, that being said…the macbook air is the clearly the best buy on the market coming in at $3000 less than its competitor. 

That rain is really starting to make me angry.

DC has a lot of homeless people.  Some you actually start to recognize and see on a normal basis.  For instance at the corner of Route 1 and Glebe there is always one of two guys standing there.  The other day I gave him some coupons for free sandwiches at McDonald’s.  I usually won’t hand anything to these folks if they are begging, but my window was down and felt awkward, not relevant, but just for the record.  Well I drove by the other day and he was on the corner checking a CELL PHONE.  ??? Who are you calling?  Why don’t you buy some food or new clothes with that money?  Not very convincing and I want my free sandwiches back.

Completely unrelated, whats the deal with the gov’t assisting people in the digital TV transition?  Is TV not a luxury?  If thats the case where is my power yacht assistance?  I wonder sometimes about priorities and I worry for our country.

I got nothing else and the dripping has subsided a little bit.  Have a good week. Until next time…Cheers!

Tuesday Night

Well, it certainly has been a while.  I feel inclined to post for a couple of reasons.  I have some additions to my audience, shout out to Tallatrashee.  Also, when I get requests to posts, I tend to respond to that.  So here ya go.  My spirits have been higher lately so hopefully my wit and humor has returned and this post won’t be my normal DC downer.

Things are finally starting to feel normal here.  I have friends who I hang out with, I have co workers who I click with, I live in a place for 2 weeks and it feels more like a home than my last closet, I mean apt did in 10 months.  Its great actually, you should visit, because I have a pool, a hot tub, a gym, a free shuttle to the metro stop, and a lovesac.  Google it, its not dirty.  I have 3 roommates, one guy and two dogs.  One is a puggle (half pug, half beagle, all cute) named Tucker.  He’s hilarious, always in your face and sniffing things.  The other is a beagle, Mack, who is pretty annoying in the sense that he never stops barking.  Ever.  No kidding.  Luck would have it that my human roommate is going to give him away to his boss.  Tucker will be sad, but we will all be better off.

In other news, I left Fairfax…thank God.  That place sucks, so many uppity people, bad drivers, and chain businesses. I now live in Alexandria which is more of a ”cool” place to live and full of people my age, not necessarily like me.  I will explain in two points: 1. I drive a Yaris 2. I don’t hide that I live paycheck to paycheck.  Its all good though.

Ok, I’m way overdue for a tangent.  Today I will rant about one of my geekier guilty pleasures in life.  So there is a website called gamefaqs.  Its a video game site with very active forums.  I post in these forums with a few goals in mind.  My main goal is to get those kids, or other adults who act 12, pissed off to the point where I can get them modded.  All that means is that a moderator deletes their post due to language or trolling or flaming.  It is generally frowned upon to get modded.  Another game I like to play is “hijack the topic”.  For instance, some kid will post a topic like “What is your favorite game?” and I will post something like”Your favorite game sucks, this topic is now about_______”.  Its a sure fire way to get a kid angry and get him modded.  Well I have been on and off this site for about 4 years now.  Just recently have I actually decided to be a contributor instead of a firestarter.  It has been, what they would call an “Epic Phail”.  So I have reverted back to my original plan to ruffle feathers of the 13 year olds.  So with the upcoming release of GTA IV, the board for that game has a lot of activity.  Enter Mark.

There is a brand new part of GTA now, its going to have online multiplayer.  Resulting in many of the posts being similar to ”I hope I don’t get stuck with all 12 year olds” which is funny because they are 12.  So I always find out what they don’t like and tell them thats all they are going to get stuck with.  Specifically, there is a kid who said that he didn’t want to play with girls…especially comedic, outgoing and loud girls.  He “hates when they act all tough”. So I chime in with “I’m a comedic, loud, outgoing, and tough girl.  I hope we get matched ALL THE TIME”.  I then shorten it to CLOTGirl.  So now everypost I deem appropriate, I just type CLOTGirls FTW!!!! (For The Win).  It has been truly annoying to these kids and I feel a little satisfaction.  There is something about anonymous annoyance and troublemaking that makes me smile.  I’m a geek and if you know me, I have never denied it. 

I just read that and its pretty random and may not provide you with much entertainment, but if you ever find yourself on www.gamefaqs.com on the Xbox 360 GTA: IV forums…just know that the guy always posting CLOTGirls!!!!!!11!!!1! is me. 

180

I just got home and its 1:30 am.  I contemplated doing a couple of things right now, I could have fired up my xbox and played COD4, still not out of the question or I could have, which I did, decide to write this post.  Maybe you can discern why I did this one too.  Its a been a little while since my last post and just about everything in my life has changed since then.  Its a wonder how everything, I mean everything, can be bad and then in a couple of weeks all is well.  Or at least on its way to well.  I have a small group at church to thank for that.  I finally have some folks I have connected with and hang out quite regularly.  Thats where I came from tonight.  I went to a Good Friday service and then we all went to a friend’s house to play games.  I learned how to play scrabble express, played rock band, and mario kart.  Great time, even better company. 

One person in specific made my night, I will let them remain anonymous for the time being.  As most people know, I am a pretty picky dater and its not often that some one can consume my thoughts ALL THE TIME.  Its happened though.  There is a girl who I thought was absolutely gorgeous the first time I saw her.  Somehow I have a feeling that she may be an answer to a lot of my prayers.  The very little I do know about her made me fall for her fast and everytime I talk more with her, the worse (or better) it gets.  Every laugh and smile had a pleasantly strange effect on me and the accent is, well everything about her is amazing.  I will stop there and let anybody who reads this linger in guessing.

I started the new job this week.  Its been great so far.  Everybody at the new office is laid back and helpful.  I have a feeling I could stay there a while.  Today was the second and last day of some pretty intensive PM training.  Good knowledge to have, I just hope I get to apply it all one day.  Gov’t contracting is a vast and confusing world of finances.

9 months later and for the first time I am actually glad I moved up here.  New job, new friends, almost into a new apt.  You might call this a clean slate, round 2.  I am going to make the best of this yet.  My next goal is to lose 40 lbs.  I started jogging again and went to a trial session at a boxing gym.  It was intense and something I could get into.  My only hold up is the coach was a disciplinarian type.  I would guess like a karate teacher, not sure as I have never taken any sort of martial arts.  I don’t understand that whole thing, probably why I would never fare well in the military.  Its kind of an indication that I don’t want to join it.  Not only because of that, but because it costs a fortune too.  I have one more session that I paid for.  I will go, but that will probably be it.  I will lose that weight, either running, swimming, lifting weights, or whatever.  Its got to happen.  Add new lifestyle to the list too. 

If you live in the DC area and read this, feel free to keep me accountable, I could use it.  I hope this post finds you well.  Happy Easter.

For crying out loud, why have a blog if you don’t use it….

Irony, its a funny thing.  Its kind of like my job and life right now.  “Hey Mark, you got the job! Move to DC and take on this huge project that is destined to fail!  Oh, yeah, about that….we knew it was going to fail and needed a fall guy….” 

Infuriating.  Fear not though, leave it to Mark to find humor in it.  Ready?  Here goes….I got nothing.  Not a single funny thing about it.  As a matter of fact I am pretty pissed off.  Email me, call me, whatever if you want more details. 

I ate dinner and made a few impulse buys tonight and well, in a nutshell the last 7 months have been anything but good.  Still no people I would truly label as a friend.  However, I went out with people for the second time since I arrived here in July.  2 guys from work and their girlfriends.  It was alright.  Stupid movie, ate at Fridays in a mall.  One is a compulsive drinker with a psycho sex crazed girlfriend, the other is a devout calvinist or something and passes judgement on just about everything he sees and only dates asians.  Its funny how somebody who claims to be so full of joy is such a pessimist.  More irony I suppose.  It felt weird to be at a bar that wasn’t my regular one.  Speaking of I am a regular at a bar.  I know the people that sit there and I am on a first name basis with all the bartenders.  They ask where I was if I didn’t come for a few days, its great.  One actually doesn’t charge me for beer.  I never thought I would have come to that sort of status at 25.  Most people, like Eric who is a friend of mine at that bar, don’t even get that treatment.  Its probably a good thing and a bad thing in the sense that I am way too young to be in this position, but free beer is always a plus.  That bar is in a mall though, which just about sums up this area.  I find myself at a lot of malls in my free time.  I love capitalism and people watching, that being said, there isn’t a better place to find both. 

I was going move to a different place up here.  Those plans have come to a halt due to the fact of me potentially getting laid off in 2 months.  See above paragraph.  I am focusing my inevitable job search back home in GA as well as Florida.  The further away I get from this hellhole of a metro area, the better.  Forbes magazine did an article on the richest counties in America.  Fairfax was #1.  $100,613.  Thats the median income around here.  Which contributes to the hellhole comment.  That income is evident anywhere you turn your head around here.  People think they are awesome.  I got news for them.  They suck.  Rude, inconsiderate, incompetent drivers.  Those are a few words that come to mind first when thinking about “NoVa”.  Anyway, I am looking for a job so if you first, still read this, and second, know of any jobs.  Let me know.  My resume in a nutshell: I’m awesome.

Hooray Eli Manning.

 Enough of the downer stuff.  I have been skiing once up here. I don’t go as much as I want to, its not fun by yourself.  But I am going this weekend with some people from church. 

Guilty Pleasures

Rockapella

Boys II Men

#4 combo at Auntie Ann’s pretzels in the mall (hotdog wrapped in pretzel with cheese dip)

MMORPG’s

Speaking in internet abbreviations  LOL

What are yours?

I’m tired, wish I had more to post.  Maybe later?  We’ll see.