But not this time. My church is currently doing a series on miracles. It is all been great so far and it has been a very powerful series, but not one I felt I could apply to my life yet. I feel like miracles happen a lot more often than we realize, but we fail to acknowledge that it is a miracle. Often, miracles are thought of as birth of children, healing of a terminal disease, surviving a crash, or something else inhuman. It’s funny how one event can change that perspective though.
Yesterday I was one of the last 3 people to leave church and the last 3 of us decided to try a secret burrito place (more on that at the end). The place wasn’t open so we walked to a sandwich shop a couple blocks away. After we ate, my friends sort of looked at me intently and said “We also wanted to tell you that on the way here, we felt led to help you out with your mission trip…and we just donated $2000 toward it.”
I was literally speechless for maybe the 2nd or 3rd time in my life. I had no idea how to comprehend this. I’d never experienced that kind of generosity so selflessly and plainly. I’m probably not that good at receiving that sort of gesture, because it has never really happened to me before. I tried to muster up words that would even begin to describe my gratitude. I think I stammered out “Thank you so much, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. I don’t know what to say…”. They responded with that I don’t need to say anything and they have been touched by my commitment to the trip and recent changes in my life. They hope that this trip will further my progress and reinforce it.
I know that it will. Because God has his hand all over this one, He has from the start. I felt called to this trip. Reasons are to still be determined, but my hope and prayer is and always has been that God will reveal Himself to me in a way I’ve never experienced on this trip. And after this weekend, I’ve realized the fact of the matter is that He has been answering that prayer all along. I haven’t been oblivious to it, but it is easier to associate it with the larger scale experiences…like when a friend just gives you two grand. I know that He wants me to go, I know that He wants to show me something, reveal something to me, and change me. Everything since last fall has led me to believe that in the form of encouragement from friends, financial blessings, and verses in the Bible. The one particular verse that has really kept me in line is 2 Timothy 3:12 -
“In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”
My persecution came from my family. My dad was pretty explicit in the fact that he did not want me to go the Middle East. My sister even warned me to a point that made me feel like she didn’t want me to go either. But I knew that it was indication that I was pursuing a greater calling. I sought clarity on this for a long time and the 2 Timothy verse kept coming back to me. God was speaking to me. Clearly. Talking to the leader of our trip, he assured me all along that if I was supposed to go, it would happen. With this last weekend’s event, it all became that much clearer. I’m supposed to go, I am going, and it will be one of the most memorable 11 days of my life.
I have had revelations over the last few months (see previous blog post), I’ve had transformations of my mind and attitude, change in habits, change in behavior and thought process. It is all culminating to something huge. However, in the last 6 month personal renaissance, the last few weeks were kind of a slump in this change honestly. No regression, just stagnancy. I felt like I had plateaued. It changed on Sunday though. Church was especially meaningful with a sermon on Balaam’s Donkey. Then I went to the lunch I’ll never forget followed by a short but intense final meeting for our trip. I finished out my day at catacombs and all 4 events made for an intense day of building up hope. I got excited for a lot of things.
First of all, to know that you have friends that can channel God’s miracles is an incredible piece of knowledge that brings comfort and awe at the same time. When you can see an act of God and His divinity in something so apparent, it inspires an abundance of feelings and emotions that are difficult to put into words. Basically I feel blessed, lucky, overwhelmed, joy, affirmation, unworthy, and most of all thankful. I know they were giving to God and God was giving to me. For us to be involved in Godly a transaction is truly remarkable.
Second of all, to know that you are allowing God to use you for his purposes is rewarding. It feels good. To know that you are doing what God wants you to do makes you feel like nothing else. I like to think that everything I do is part of His plan for me, but when it is unmistakable, it is different.
Third of all, our trip is on April 29th. As of today, that means it is 10 days away. I’m going to the streets where Jesus walked, talked, taught, healed, preached, died, and rose again. I’ll see the chaos that is Israel and Palestine, I’ll talk to people with broken spirits, misguided beliefs, and prejudice against me and all that I stand for. I can’t wait. More persecution means I’m something right. God will bless me on this trip and long after as a result.
Now about that secret burrito place. It is called the Well Dressed Burrito and it consists of 2 signs and a solid windowless black door. There are no windows and no other signs than the one that says “Well Dressed Burrito” with a penguin on it. It is located in an alley between 19th St. and 20th St. NW DC. It is only open on M-F and Saturdays, not Sundays as we learned the hard way. People say it is the best burrito in the world and the lines can reach around the block during lunch hours. I’ll be back when it is open. I’ll let you know how it is.
Loved reading this, Mark. Thanks for sharing … something tells me you’ll be able to give a gift of encouragement to someone in your same shoes somewhere down the line – be it monetary or spiritual – doesn’t matter. You’ll know what it means because God wrote it on your heart. What better author?